Two things

Radley Balko, in the course of introducing his guestbloggers, pointed to the "Two Things" meme.

"...For every subject, there are really only two things you really need to know. Everything else is the application of those two things, or just not important."

I was unaware of the meme per se, but familiar with the concept. Not long after I started in the buildings industry, I was informed of the Two Things you really need to know to be a plumber:

1. Shit flows downhill
2. Payday is every second Friday

A couple of years later, this came up in a discussion with another plumber, who had just spent his week emptying cleanouts at a pig slaughterhouse (a task, I'm told, which makes unplugging a residential toilet seem like watering the begonias in comparison). Anyway, he advised me of a third thing, or 2A if you prefer:

• Don't chew your fingernails.

Indeed.